Talking to Someone You’re Worried About
Talking to a friend or close loved one about mental struggles or concerns doesn’t have to be hard. You don’t have to start with the hard topic to get the conversation going. Start by offering to meet with them or suggest a place, this can be somewhere you know they feel comfortable and you can have a private conversation with them. Feel free to talk about struggles you might be experiencing to allow them the opportunity to open up. Whether its over coffee, a bite to eat, or just somewhere to take a short walk, providing that space can be helpful.
One key thing you can do is to listen more than you talk. Often times, just being there and sitting with someone and offering them a space to feel connected can be enough. Even if they don’t feel like talking about their issues. Some key things you want to pay attention to are what is their body language telling you? Do they seem withdrawn? More tired than usual? You want to pay attention to what seems to be out of the normal for them. Always point out what you are noticing with them, this will open things up for conversation. With that, you can then make time to point out to them, ‘Hey, I noticed you have been spending time alone more often” or “I noticed you seem more tired and seem to sleep more often”. Open ended questions to follow might look like, “Tell me what its been like for you lately” or “What stressors have you been dealing with lately?”
Make sure to let them know you care and are worried about them. At times, we don’t realize the impact we have on others, and knowing someone is there for us can truly make that difference. Checking in with that person through sending a text message later on and letting them know you are thinking of them can be something small, but a great reminder to that person you truly care. It can be as simple as saying “I’m thinking about you”.
If your friend or loved one tells you something that is concerning, sometimes its hard to ask the tough questions, but those can be the questions we need to ask. Asking, ‘Are you thinking about killing yourself?” can be key. Following this, if they say yes, reminding them that you are there for them and then connecting them with the appropriate resources is important.
You should never force someone to talk about a problem. If they don’t want to talk, let them know you’re always there to listen. Maybe they’ll change their mind later on. A single conversation is not likely to be a cure, but your willingness to continue talking, listen, and simply being there for them and showing support helps more than you might know. As discussed previously, just checking in to see how they’re doing can be one of the best ways to help someone struggling with depression, anxiety, or other mental health concerns. Beyond that, reinforce any momentum – no matter how small, that your friend makes towards getting help. From the smallest steps to giant leaps, all efforts should be positively reinforced. You can be the key to making a difference in someone’s life.
Resources for Riverside County:
Your Medical/Mental Health Provider
211 - Social Services Resources, Riverside County
Please also see crisis numbers below for urgent support:
Riverside County Crisis Hotline: 951-686-HELP (4357)
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: 741741
For teens- SafeHouse Text Crisis Line: 844-204-0880
For teens- SafeHouse App- What'sUp? SafeHouse
Emergency Treatment Services (951) 358-4767
Loma Linda Behavioral Medicine Center (Call ahead) :(909) 558-9344
If it’s a life threatening emergency please call 9-1-1 or go to your nearest emergency room
